@bradmantv  twilight is like soccer, they run around for two hours, nobody scores, and the billion fans who watch it insist you just dont understand

@cjanecrowell  just cleaned out closet and was mildly amused to find Margaret Thatcher under my stack of sweatpants.

@dooce  What do you do if you’re on an all protein diet and you have to take the sacrament? Pretend it really is “the body”?

@SarahKSilverman Tampon strings should be waterproof. 1 pre-flight pee &I have to sit on a tiny wet rope for 5 hours? Boo.

@3rdand10 Sean Hannity looks like a youth minister that’s really into scat videos and amputee porn.